Monthly Challenges

I finished the UP Challenge, with 2700 steps to spare.

I've got one thing going for me: if I say I'm going to do something, I do it.

One thing that I've learned about myself throughout my life though is that 90 day challenges are a little too intense for my liking. I prefer a nice 30 day challenge. That's a future I can account for a little better. I am only giving myself 3 challenges for the month of March so far. These are:

1. Exercise every day
2. Eat vegetables every day
3. Attempt to spend NOTHING every day
4. Read the Bible every day
5. WRITE 1,000 words

Number 3 will be impossible, but I would like to see how I can do when I'm consciously avoiding making a purchase. (I'm guessing I'll just spend several hundred dollars once a week instead of spreading it out, but that's also something for me to observe.) I tried number 4 in December and did wretchedly, but we'll see. As for number 5, that will be hard, but I really want to get moving on this poor novel that's been hiding behind my step challenge for the past month at least. 

Overall, I enjoyed the step challenge and I look forward to doing another now that I have this bracelet! :)

Kodaline - All I Want (Part 1)

This video gets me every time. There is also a Part 2 that I want to share, but please watch this one first. Watch it twice. Let it sink it. Give it time.

I have a story idea that reminds me of this video and lately I've been working on it, so inspired by this.

So Many Ideas, No Time At All

I am currently in a stressed state somewhat akin to my feelings in the fall of 2009, and for those of you who experienced that season with me, you know it's time to duck for cover.

Stress is one of those things for me...it's not that I handle it poorly, it's just that I let it build up and get worse for a long time, thinking I can take it, and then all of a sudden one day--usually because of some kind of catalyst--I just can't take it any more. As always, the greatest stressor for me is when there is way more to do than there is time. I begin squandering the little time I do have left because at this point it's "Do I finish this project or do I go to the bathroom?" "Do I call this client or do I eat today?" Logic tells me that it's important to choose your priorities, but who's asking the girl who will skip going to the bathroom about "logic"?

I'm being slightly dramatic. I've only skipped a few meals because of work. And usually the one suffering in the bathroom department ends up being Sadie. In reality, many of the physical effects have been probably more related to my habit of "rehearsing" how to explain my problems and talking solutions through with myself. So hair loss and sleeplessness is normal, right?

Ugh.

Stress and I are not friends. While some writers and artists may thrive on stressful situations, I thrive on a bit of tension. I need the tug of the deadline to make a nice little blend with the excitement of writing something beautiful. When the deadline has chained a two-ton ball to my ankle and been thrown into the ocean, there's a little something in the back of my head saying "just give up"...the sing-songy "just keep swimming" is coming from external sources. Inside, I'm just thinking, "Really? Keep swimming? It's over. Can't you see that it's over?"

There are big changes coming soon because I don't want to die young just so a few people could get some websites. I have other dreams that involve me staying alive and completing them. Also, I like having hair. I don't think I would look too good without it. 

More Loathsome

I'm on a roll now. I thought of some more.

• Pedestrian Right of Way - It's just, fine, go. But at least look, okay? If you don't value your life, that's your choice, but please don't make me be the one to take it. 
• Baby Craze - Why are people always trying to convince me to have a baby? I don't hate babies, I just like adults more. There are 2 reasons this bothers me. 1) I have expressed a lack of interest in babies, so when people tell me to have one, it's like they have no discretion whatsoever about parenting. Isn't "people who don't want kids having kids" supposed to be one of the things we're avoiding? Yes, I will be a responsible parent if ever I become one because I am a responsible person, but still. I hope you're not encouraging all of your drunken friends to become parents too. Those babies are going to be the next generation. Aren't we lucky? 2) Just because becoming a parent was the most fulfilling thing you've ever done doesn't mean that it will be for me. The most fulfilling thing I'VE ever done was finish a few major writing projects. You don't see me walking around shaking people: "OMG, you have GOT to write a novel..." No, that's MY thing. Yours is babies. 
• Skinny Girl Hate - This one REALLY gets under my skin. All this talk about "real women having curves" and pictures of skinny women equaling "body hate." "Fat girls are the majority" they say. Isn't there a bunch of blather about not hating on minorities, because I am not feeling the love. I got a box of chocolate at school once and a fat girl said "GOOD, now she'll eat." Thanks, jerk. I actually really like food, and I like being healthy, and I like working out. I also like binging on chocolate and lying on the couch for four days straight. Why does anyone feel the need to talk about my body and why do I feel the need to defend myself? I never talk about other people's bodies. I don't even care. If I shared a picture of some body part I was proud of because I worked hard making it look nice, that wouldn't be "body shaming" for someone else. It isn't even about you. People say "how do you do it?" and their eyes glaze over when they hear the words "vegetables" and "gym." 
• Republicans and Democrats - Let's just get rid of both parties now. 
• People Who Don't Get It - This picture says it all:

LOVE

By contrast, because I also think unrestrained negativity is loathsome, here are some things I LOVE.

1. Silence - I have not experienced true silence in 21 years. I had a really high fever at age 8 (106 degrees) and sustained hearing and vision damage. I have tinnitus which means that silence does not exist for me, but if I don't think about it, I don't hear it. I love and appreciate silence in a way that I never could have done before. Every time you experience true silence, please enjoy it. For me! 
2. Great stories - I swear NOTHING makes me happier than a good story, told well. 
3. People helping people - It makes me so happy to hear stories about another person's kindness. I wouldn't say kindness is rare, it's just that stories of sadness, pain, and death are so prominent and impact me so much. Hearing about the opposite brings joy!
4. Dogs - Dogs are the most incredible creatures in the world, full of love and sweetness. How could you not love dogs? 
5. Knowing my own mind - Since becoming an adult and experiencing a few earth-shattering disappointments, I'm a lot better at shrugging things off and being honest with myself. I love that I can think about something and form an opinion on my own without being afraid that someone else won't agree with me. We're all our own person and have the right to our own opinions. That being said, I also no longer enjoy being friends with people who are trying to change me. Life is too short for that tug of war. 
6. Justice - Seriously beautiful. 
7. The woods - Until you've hiked miles and miles from civilization with your home on your back, you have never experienced the woods. 
8. Beautiful things - There are so many beautiful things in the world if you know how to look for them. My mom always taught me to appreciate the little things--like flowers growing out of cracks in sidewalks. Beauty is everywhere if you tune in to it. I also appreciate beautiful people. Why not? I hate when people don't want to see beautiful people. That leads me to....
9. The human body - It really is a masterpiece. I know so many people complain about having to see it on TV and in advertising, but it doesn't bother me at all. 
10. A healthy lifestyle - I love feeling good. When I was a teenager, I realized that when I ate crackers and cheese or sugary treats, I did not feel so great afterwards, and even though I have lifestyle lapses now, I know that exercising and healthy foods make me feel GOOD. I wish everyone would come to that conclusion. I see too many older people who succumbed to junk food and laziness complaining about their health problems, and I can't help but see how they could be better now if they would have just tried. 
11. Relaxing - While I love to work out, nothing in the world beats a comfy couch or bed. 
12. Understanding and being understood - This is another thing I didn't fully appreciate until adulthood. It is SO HARD to find someone who gets you and who you get, but it is such a reward when you do! That whole "opposites attract" thing is so overrated. I love being in relationships with people I understand. I have accumulated some really nice friends over the years :)
13. Double IPA - What better beer is there? 
14. A good manicure - I love having my nails done. It's such a hassle-free way of looking nice. 
15. Sight - Like the hearing thing...what wouldn't I give for vision! Well, actually I probably wouldn't do lasik. That's gross. 
16. Nerd culture - I love writing nerdery, like literary art. I got an "&" statue that I've been nerding out about. Seriously, what a nerd!
17. Working hard - The whole bit about giving 110%. I'm not COMPLAINING about that. I love it!
18. Libertarian culture - It's self-explanatory. 
19. Writing for me - Writing my novel (and other writing projects) has been one of the most rewarding experiences I've ever had. I don't know where it'll go, but the way it's made me feel while completing it has been worth all the work. 
20. Receiving notes in the mail - I'm old fashioned.  
21. Fashion and beauty - My favorite Pinterest activities, besides home storage pinning, is fashion and beauty pinning. 
22. New clothes! - I am so thankful for my walk-in closet.  
23. Baby animals - They grow up into big animals! Maybe this is why human babies don't do it for me...they just grow up into people. 
24. Zebra F-301 pens - Could never think without this pen. We've been together for almost 12 years. 
25. Good food - Because it's good....
26. Starbucks Tall 5 Pump Iced Chai with Whip - Another necessity! So yummy.
27. Water - I never understand people who hate drinking water. It's my favorite beverage in the world. It's life-sustaining!
28. Produce - It's my favorite section in the grocery store. Oh, and I like eating it. 
29. Light - Post Christmas blues are just perpetuated the the plunge into continual darkness. Oh and my Christmas decorations are still up. I love lights. 
30. Sadiepants - This girl brightens my entire existence. 

Loathsome

Some friends of mine participated in #31daysofloathsome in December, as a response to #30daysofthankfulness in November. Facebook is always a great place for controversial items, but I really enjoyed this one. It seemed inappropriate to participate in December's festivities so immediately after November's so I refrained, but now that it's January, let 'er rip!

Things I Loathe (Listed as I thought of them)

1. Unfaithful friends - Seriously, this one really gets under my skin. People who are your friend for anything but all the time? Once I'm in, I'm in. I expect the same from you! Sadly, many people don't give it. They are unafraid to backstab if it benefits them
2. Wet feet - Particularly when ice melt leaks into my boots, but also when I step in a floor puddle in socks. 
3. Being cold - Cold is just not for me. 
4. Knotted hair - That feeling at the back of your neck when you've been wearing a bulky sweater or hoodie and now your hair is a nest for a small rat.
5. Itchy skin - Screw you, winter!
6. Half-assers in the workplace - Okay, this is a big one for me. I like to give 110% in the workplace, which means I am always stressed because no one can give 110%. Then I see people piddling around at like 70% of below. Nothing makes me more stressed! Not only does that mean I am stuck covering for some of their shortcomings, but it means that between the two of us, there are still fewer than 2 whole humans doing their job. So my attempt to do more than 1 human is still completely worthless. 
7. Dust, crumbs, dog hair, and general grossness that accumulates - Why does my house get gross in five minutes? It's the animal. I love her, but dude, learn to use the vacuum. 
8. Poorly constructed stories - Stories where the author drops such heavy-handed clues that when the character finally figures it out you're like, "Are you a moron?" Stories where cardinal rules are broken, such as "feel free to use a coincidence to get the protagonist INTO a conflict, but never one to get him out." Stories that overuse coincidences. Stories that use coincidences at all. Stories that try too hard to be the best story ever and fail miserably. Stories that are filled with drama that doesn't simulate real life in any way. (Many authors seem to forget that even in the apocalypse, humans will still be humans.)
9. The common misconception the grammar and typos or grammar and syntax are the same thing - As a writer, I encounter many people who don't know any term besides "grammar" when discussing anything they don't like about a piece of writing. Needless to say, if the feedback is merely "it wasn't grammatical," that doesn't leave me much room for improvement. I have no idea what you want from me. 
10. Judgy people - Mostly, judging people for their clothes or their lifestyle choices. It's none of your business. No one asked you. I hate being in that gossipy situation where I'm sitting with person A and person B walks by. When person A leans in to say "her hair...", "her jeans...", whatever, my first inclination is to get up and walk away. No desire to be in that conversation in all. I also don't like stereotyping. Don't call me a conservative just because I'm a Christian who looks like a Fox news anchor. 
11. Death - Every time I read a story about a murder, accidental or on purpose, or anyone's death, I feel anger. Death is the suckiest thing that mankind was ever cursed to have to experience. I don't wish it on anyone, by proximity or happening to them. 
12. Whining - Lots of people complain a lot. If you're whining, I should also hear your ideas for how you plan to fix the problem. I have empathy, sure, but not for people who just whine and complain constantly without ever bringing a single idea to the table. This especially goes for Facebook whining. What do you hope to achieve? Alienating your Facebook friends? Check. 
13. Missing the mark - Mostly in the workplace. When you're putting THAT MUCH effort into achieving, nothing hurts worse that falling short anyway. When I fail (which, let's face it, means anything short of just right) I fail not only myself, but everyone, at least in my eyes. But not to fall into loathsomeness #12, I am immediately thinking of how to rectify the situation and I think of it until I come up with something. Nights and weekends notwithstanding. 
14. Lack of kitchen cleanliness - If I go to your house and see a dead cat on the counter, or similarly, food on the floor from "yesterday," or other gross things, I cringe. If I have gotten food poisoning from eating at your house, don't be offended when I bring a granola bar instead of partaking in your dinner. (Yeah...this isn't a made up one.)
15. Germs in public places - I hate touching things in public. Bathroom doors are covered in the flu. 
16. Pop, especially brown pop - Don't know why, but it is entirely loathsome.
17. Jelly donuts - Saw a show when I was a kid where a nerdy boy got a jelly donut smashed in his face. Cannot eat them. Cannot look at them. It really stuck with me. 
18. In fact, most red foods - I'm getting better at this. I like berries. I still can't eat jelly or jam unless it's apricot. 
19. Small talk - The ultimate conversation killer. "So, how about this weather?" "So, how about you let me read my book now. I have things to do with my life."
20. No chip nail polish that outlasts its lifespan - This is a current complaint. When you get no-chip polish with an LED dryer, it peels off nicely after the requisite ten days. When you get it with the cancer causing UV dryer, it never peels off without taking half your nail with it, and it just hangs there, catching your clothes and hair until you RIP your nails off, or go have it soaked off for like an hour. Need to go do that today before I flip. 
21. Comedy that isn't funny or tries to hard - You aren't making me laugh, so you're making me angry. 
22. A lot of James Franco movies - This is the End could have been funny, but really? That movie went places I never wanted to see. As with Your Highness. It's an abuse of power, I think, to create such ignorant movies just because you can. A friend the other day was talking about Jeselnik and how he thinks comedians and writers have a "social responsibility." I think it's time someone called out James Franco on HIS social responsibility. 
23. Flavored chocolate - Like mint or orange flavored. What a waste of chocolate. 
24. Scratchy clothes, particularly wool or metallics - Once again, screw you, winter. 
25. Static - Nothing more obnoxious that your hair standing on end, except your clothes clinging to you. Maybe this would be a decent time to mention....screw you, winter!
26. People who are full of themselves - I love people. Surprisingly, I really do. Maybe it's part of the writer in me--I've been brought up believing that everyone has something to offer, and even if they don't have much to offer, they still have feelings, they are still alive, they matter just as much as you or I or Obama or Beyonce (just as much, or just as little, I should say). I just hate it when people take their own personal pep talks public. When they rant about how "I am a goddess in my own life" or other nonsensical things. I always want to remind them that's a conversation between themselves and their bathroom mirror, not a good Facebook status or drunken speech at a party. 
27. Taking lots of pills, especially the capsule kind that hate going down - I don't feel like an explanation is required. I just don't like pills.
28. The tanning culture, or any other cancer-causing cultures - "Hey, let's eat processed foods and smoke cigarettes while lying out on the beach without sunscreen!" Why are you asking for trouble?
29. Short days - I really don't like when it's already dark out and I'm not even off work. 
30. PDA - I don't want to see you making out. 

What do you consider loathsome? I probably agree with most of your things too. 

Noveling Update

Just updating...

My novel is currently at 51,750 words, and that is the halfway point. Revision is going excellently well! I am really looking forward to wrapping up the second half of this draft. And then the cutting, of course, because my goal was to keep this puppy under 70,000...that might be too ambitious though.

I am excited for my 2014 goals. Once this novel is to final draft stage, I'll start shopping an agent. 

If that fails, I'll just start having babies.